His ultimate sacrifice
by marybearsy
Summary: Pete sends Rose and the Doctor away on a much-needed romantic getaway. Maybe now Rose can bring herself to love the copy of her lover.


A soft wind flowing over the back of Rose's neck woke her up. She rolled over, sleepy, expecting to find the warm body of the doctor next to her. He, however, stood in front of the opened window, leaning out, resting his lower arms on the windowsill. Rose still had to get used to seeing him without his usual suit, but in his pyjamas. He was looking out at the stars. She knew he longed to travel, but he was stuck here, with her. Somewhere deep inside a little voice told her it was her fault he was unhappy. Because he was the doctor, yet she couldn't love him like she loved the man who had grabbed her hand all those years ago and whispered the word that started everything.

'Doctor?' She said quietly. She didn't want to disturb him. He didn't seem to notice, or maybe he noticed but he didn't want to know that she was awake. 'Doctor, are you okay?'

He turned around to her, smiling a weak smile. 'Go back to sleep, Rose.' He closed the window softly, toed off his woolen slippers and got under the covers beside her, wrapping his arms around her protectively.

Rose let her head settle on his chest. His fingers tapped out a small rhythm on her arms, four beats. It reminded her of her doctor's heartbeat. She felt herself drift back to sleep now that the cold air was warm again, but something held her back. The feeling she had had ever since she arrived at the cottage Pete had rented for their 'couple's retreat' gnawed at her stomach. She knew something was wrong with the doctor, but she also knew he didn't want to talk about it.

'Put on your coat, doctor. We're going outside. I want you to tell me about the stars.' She said, breaking the silence.

She heard a soft smile coming from him. 'Rose, it's three o'clock in the morning. You have to sleep.'

'I'm not tired.' She lied. She unwrapped herself from him and pulled on her stick bathrobe that lay on the back of the chair at the desk. The doctor didn't move, but she went outside anyway. She knew he would follow. Sure enough, half a minute later she heard him closing the door behind her. Their breath formed little clouds and Rose wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm. When she turned around she saw the doctor looking up at the sky. The cottage was far away from civilisation, so the stars shone bright. The doctor pointed up.

'Look. That's the star I orbited around to say goodbye to you on the beach. Do you remember?'

'How could I forget?' she said softly. A tear formed in her eye at the memory of her Doctor. Suddenly, she smiled. She remembered something he had told her a long time ago. North, slightly to the right. 'There. That's Raxacorrico... Raxacorrico...'

She heard the doctor chuckle. 'Raxacorricofallapatorius.' He gently took her hand and pointed it up a little. 'And it's over there.'

Rose turned around, now facing him. They were close, maybe even too close. 'Doctor, I'm sorry.'

He looked puzzled. 'What on earth could you be sorry for, Rose?'

'For making you give the stars up.'

He smiled, obviously relieved she didn't say what he had feared. That she didn't say what she was going to say, if she hadn't chickened out at the last second. 'You didn't make me give up anything. Rose, he loved you. He still does. He would have gladly given up the stars, his hearts and the rest of his life for you. I swear, and I would know. But he didn't. He sacrificed so much more. He gave up you, so that you could be happy.'

She hesitated for a moment. 'He gave me up because the universes would collapse.'

'Rose, listen to me. He didn't care if the universes collapsed. All those people he saved, he would give them all up to be with you. But he knew that I would love you. That I would grow old with you. That I would protect you no matter what the cost. And that is the best thing he could have given you. Look at me, Rose, really look at me. And tell me that you don't love me.' Tears glistened in his eyes.

'I...' She started, but a gleam in his eyes made her pause. Hesistant, she ran her fingers through his hair, along his cheekbones, down his neck. She let her hand rest on his heart, feeling the steady beating under her palm. One heart, but right now, she couldn't bring herself to care. She finally realised how much her Doctor had really given up for her happiness. The person she loved was standing right in front of her and she was too blind to see it. This was his ultimate sacrifice. She realised she had started crying. The tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving icy pathways down her face. 'I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.'

Her lips met his without hesitation. She kissed him, softly, asking his permission without words. His hands curled around her waist, locking behind her back, pulling her closer. Their lips moved together on pure instinct. She knew. She was born for this. He was born for this. She pulled away, coming back onto her flat feet. He was a tiny bit too tall for her. She rested her head in his neck. 'I love you.' She said.

She could feel him shuddering slightly. He was crying too, holding on to her to hold him down. 'I promise, Rose. I promise.'


End file.
